hi ! i’ve gotten a lot of asks asking how i am and what i’ve been up to- i’ve been settling in from my move and trying to figure out what it is like to be a person without anxiety. i’ve been ruled by anxiety for most of my life (i can remember feeling anxiety before i could talk, so like… literally all of my life that i can remember) and most of my actions and decisions were just anxiety management and sympathetic magic and responses to crippling anxiety. now that my medication has been working pretty well, i am tasked with figuring out what i’m actually like- like, now i can act any way i want instead of ways that minimize anxiety ! i can have actual friendships and relationships with people ! i can even blog without fear that everything i post is going to alienate people and out me as a… bad tumblr…er? it’s intimidating and exciting and hard, like all the best things.

anyway, i hope to be back soon. i’m heartened by how good plus size clothing has gotten since i started this blog. a straight sized coworker asked me where i get all my cute clothes today which is the first time in my entire life that my style has been envied by a non-fat person. haha.

p.s. the answer is eshakti and the asos curve sale section, circa 2013.
p.p.s. i’ve been doing more personal blogging on ye olde personal blog lately

ARE PLUS-SIZE WOMEN THE PROBLEM WITH PLUS-SIZE FASHION?

this just in: the problem with plus size fashion is that plus size women are too mean and critical and full of self-loathing. hey guys, the only thing holding us back is ourselves. if we weren’t so NEGATIVE, we could be in the same place we were years ago and gratefully accepting polyester crumbs. quotes amazing sources like ‘an anonymous blogger.’

hey guys ! i’m dealing with moving stuff and partner-moving stuff and family-visiting stuff and i’ve been kind of MIA from tumblr lately, but i wanted to share something.

my mom, a very tiny person, is visiting me. since i’m packing and moving, my clothes are everywhere, and she has been picking up my clothes dozens of times a day and holding them up to her body. she isn’t trying to make fun of me or mock my size; she just likes my clothes. incidentally, seeing a tiny person holding my giant clothing up to their body is a total mindfuck and has made me feel very ungainly and inconspicuous. my mom has some trouble with memory from a medication, so saying something about it won’t accomplish anything- i’d say something, she’d feel bad for making me feel bad, i’d feel bad for making HER feel bad, she’d forget, she’d do it again, repeat. 

i get a lot of questions here and on my advice blog about how i am so confident and where my confidence comes from, and i sometimes get the impression that people view confidence as an either/or scenario. it’s okay to be confident some days. it’s okay to feel insecure or uncomfortable or like a weird alien sometimes. even people who are overall confident and happy have days like this, so you just have to take it one day at a time. try to meet your body every day with a new perspective. you don’t have to love it, you don’t have to hate it, but don’t forget to give it a chance now and then.

Someone went to a lot of work to try and make this strange patchwork thing sound good: “Showcase your style stripes in the punchy BIB Print and Stripe Zip Through Mock Turtle Neck Sweat Top in black. Combining three of the season’s hottest prints: the floral, stripe and leopard, it’s a fashion-forward casual style. Crafted from 100% cotton, the luxuriously soft sweat will shake up your off-duty rotation. Keep the focus on the patterned panels with jeans and dark sneakers or flats.”

submitted by oliviasmonster

editor’s note: i’m really glad they included instructions on how to avoid pulling focus from this top- i’m clueless about fashion so i would’ve combined it with a pair of clown pantaloons and christian siriano costume wig from halloween adventure.

coolthoughts:

Cross my heart

Face outfit of the day !

coolthoughts:

Cross my heart

Face outfit of the day !

wtfplus:

image

Someone suggested that I look at Sears for nice plus-size business casual clothing. I found this lovely item: a perfect storm of horrible color, animal print, and blotches in all the wrong places.

submitted by brg05

editor’s note: the original image attached to this post didn’t work, so i drew one based on the description.

i hate myself !

wtfplus:

wtfplus:

wtfplus:

hey guys. i am appropriately embarrassed and please unfollow me if you hate this stuff, but i found myself in a situation where i have to move pretty suddenly (long story short: partner got a job in another state, i have to stay here for now, can’t stay in current place because the full rent is 71% of my income, have to pay first/last/security at another place) and am still short money (other long story short: i was on unpaid medical leave from work for 3 months earlier this year for a chronic illness, which kind of wrecked my credit/i’m still recovering from it). i have most of the deposit, but i need $800ish by 7/25. if you have anything to spare and want to paypal it to coolthoughts@nervous.org that would be cool.

i don’t have anything to sell, my family is pretty poor, and my partner (who normally would do anything to help me) has to pay the costs up front to move across the country, so i don’t really have a lifeline here.

services i can offer in return:
- i can mail you an envelope of cat hair (currently in stock: gray, white, black)
- i will rewrite your okcupid profile so you get hella laid
- i have some crappy plus size old navy clothes?
- you can look at me on a web camera?
- i can be a sad clown at your party
- i can give you advice but i already do that for free so you’d be ripping yourself off if you chose this one !

anyway, i do need help and it sucks to be vulnerable, but there are lots of other people who need help more than me so please don’t feel obligated ! also i understand if you now think i’m an annoying butt.

sorry to be annoying, i am even annoying myself, but a handful of people suggested i make a gofundme so people could see the amounts being donated/not think that i’m just ripping people off for endless money ! after talking to movers i had to realistically up the cost to $1250- renting a uhaul would cost about $249 and movers would cost about $450 with tip, plus.. my mom with her shattered kneecap and me with my nerve damage can’t load a truck. bleh.

http://www.gofundme.com/bbx8ww

wahhh, i really appreciate that people keep donating over the goal- i have to put hefty deposits down for utilities because i ruined my credit a little during the ‘no money’ time, and now i won’t have to go into more credit card debt covering the rest of the cost of moving (i asked for $1250, but the costs are more like $3000- i think i’ll be able to cover a lot of it, but it will take basically all the income i have coming in + more credit card debt, and i’m approaching my modest limits).

http://www.gofundme.com/bbx8ww

so, anyway, thank you. you guys are great and you’ve sent a lot of awesome messages making me feel less humiliated for having to do this.

almost there ! i cannot thank you all enough for your help and your kind words- i’ve gotten so many nice messages and have so many thanks to send that it’s going to keep me busy all summer. i love you guys.

i hate myself !

wtfplus:

wtfplus:

hey guys. i am appropriately embarrassed and please unfollow me if you hate this stuff, but i found myself in a situation where i have to move pretty suddenly (long story short: partner got a job in another state, i have to stay here for now, can’t stay in current place because the full rent is 71% of my income, have to pay first/last/security at another place) and am still short money (other long story short: i was on unpaid medical leave from work for 3 months earlier this year for a chronic illness, which kind of wrecked my credit/i’m still recovering from it). i have most of the deposit, but i need $800ish by 7/25. if you have anything to spare and want to paypal it to coolthoughts@nervous.org that would be cool.

i don’t have anything to sell, my family is pretty poor, and my partner (who normally would do anything to help me) has to pay the costs up front to move across the country, so i don’t really have a lifeline here.

services i can offer in return:
- i can mail you an envelope of cat hair (currently in stock: gray, white, black)
- i will rewrite your okcupid profile so you get hella laid
- i have some crappy plus size old navy clothes?
- you can look at me on a web camera?
- i can be a sad clown at your party
- i can give you advice but i already do that for free so you’d be ripping yourself off if you chose this one !

anyway, i do need help and it sucks to be vulnerable, but there are lots of other people who need help more than me so please don’t feel obligated ! also i understand if you now think i’m an annoying butt.

sorry to be annoying, i am even annoying myself, but a handful of people suggested i make a gofundme so people could see the amounts being donated/not think that i’m just ripping people off for endless money ! after talking to movers i had to realistically up the cost to $1250- renting a uhaul would cost about $249 and movers would cost about $450 with tip, plus.. my mom with her shattered kneecap and me with my nerve damage can’t load a truck. bleh.

http://www.gofundme.com/bbx8ww

wahhh, i really appreciate that people keep donating over the goal- i have to put hefty deposits down for utilities because i ruined my credit a little during the ‘no money’ time, and now i won’t have to go into more credit card debt covering the rest of the cost of moving (i asked for $1250, but the costs are more like $3000- i think i’ll be able to cover a lot of it, but it will take basically all the income i have coming in + more credit card debt, and i’m approaching my modest limits).

http://www.gofundme.com/bbx8ww

so, anyway, thank you. you guys are great and you’ve sent a lot of awesome messages making me feel less humiliated for having to do this.

i’ve gotten a few asks about asos curve bikinis- does anyone know how their sizes run? i’m a US 28/30 and can usually fit in their US 22/24 (i usually need their US 22 for dresses and leggings, 24 is too big !) but i’ve never tried their bikinis.

wtfplus:

So you’re fat, live in Australia, shop at Target, and want a dress, huh? Enjoy your two options! Would you prefer the one that literally has a smaller dress printed on the front, or the weird tent with built-in sequined manacles?
submitted by ryttu3keditor’s note: you’re so ungrateful. only $79 for a caftan with built in bracers that provide +20 dumpiness and +15 sass to your diva stats?!?also, the dress on the right is perfect for my “sexy plus size sub-zero” halloween costume. you’ll FINISH HIM in this sexy sub zero inspired ensemble! L-R:- belle curve sophia bodycon dress, target AU- polar fleece balaclava with requisite tumblr person clown makeup- head with spine by horror props UK- blue soccer knee socks- black crocs for comfort- ice cube trays by rubbermaid- oo, chilly- blue thing i found by googling ‘blue mouthpiece’ and scrolling past all the cool blue reeds for brass instruments.

wtfplus:

So you’re fat, live in Australia, shop at Target, and want a dress, huh? Enjoy your two options! Would you prefer the one that literally has a smaller dress printed on the front, or the weird tent with built-in sequined manacles?

submitted by editor’s note: you’re so ungrateful. only $79 for a caftan with built in bracers that provide +20 dumpiness and +15 sass to your diva stats?!?

also, the dress on the right is perfect for my “sexy plus size sub-zero” halloween costume. 

you’ll FINISH HIM in this sexy sub zero inspired ensemble! L-R:
- belle curve sophia bodycon dress, target AU
- polar fleece balaclava with requisite tumblr person clown makeup
- head with spine by horror props UK
- blue soccer knee socks
- black crocs for comfort
- ice cube trays by rubbermaid- oo, chilly
- blue thing i found by googling ‘blue mouthpiece’ and scrolling past all the cool blue reeds for brass instruments.

hey, i love you guys. really. you saved my life. 

i’m going through some life upheaval/turmoil stuff right now but by mid-august i should be settled- until then i’m gonna reblog classic wtfplus and show off my original artwork. xoxo.

i hate myself !

wtfplus:

hey guys. i am appropriately embarrassed and please unfollow me if you hate this stuff, but i found myself in a situation where i have to move pretty suddenly (long story short: partner got a job in another state, i have to stay here for now, can’t stay in current place because the full rent is 71% of my income, have to pay first/last/security at another place) and am still short money (other long story short: i was on unpaid medical leave from work for 3 months earlier this year for a chronic illness, which kind of wrecked my credit/i’m still recovering from it). i have most of the deposit, but i need $800ish by 7/25. if you have anything to spare and want to paypal it to coolthoughts@nervous.org that would be cool.

i don’t have anything to sell, my family is pretty poor, and my partner (who normally would do anything to help me) has to pay the costs up front to move across the country, so i don’t really have a lifeline here.

services i can offer in return:
- i can mail you an envelope of cat hair (currently in stock: gray, white, black)
- i will rewrite your okcupid profile so you get hella laid
- i have some crappy plus size old navy clothes?
- you can look at me on a web camera?
- i can be a sad clown at your party
- i can give you advice but i already do that for free so you’d be ripping yourself off if you chose this one !

anyway, i do need help and it sucks to be vulnerable, but there are lots of other people who need help more than me so please don’t feel obligated ! also i understand if you now think i’m an annoying butt.

sorry to be annoying, i am even annoying myself, but a handful of people suggested i make a gofundme so people could see the amounts being donated/not think that i’m just ripping people off for endless money ! after talking to movers i had to realistically up the cost to $1250- renting a uhaul would cost about $249 and movers would cost about $450 with tip, plus.. my mom with her shattered kneecap and me with my nerve damage can’t load a truck. bleh.

http://www.gofundme.com/bbx8ww

i hate myself !

wtfplus:

hey guys. i am appropriately embarrassed and please unfollow me if you hate this stuff, but i found myself in a situation where i have to move pretty suddenly (long story short: partner got a job in another state, i have to stay here for now, can’t stay in current place because the full rent is 71% of my income, have to pay first/last/security at another place) and am still short money (other long story short: i was on unpaid medical leave from work for 3 months earlier this year for a chronic illness, which kind of wrecked my credit/i’m still recovering from it). i have most of the deposit, but i need $800ish by 7/25. if you have anything to spare and want to paypal it to coolthoughts@nervous.org that would be cool.

i don’t have anything to sell, my family is pretty poor, and my partner (who normally would do anything to help me) has to pay the costs up front to move across the country, so i don’t really have a lifeline here.

services i can offer in return:
- i can mail you an envelope of cat hair (currently in stock: gray, white, black)
- i will rewrite your okcupid profile so you get hella laid
- i have some crappy plus size old navy clothes?
- you can look at me on a web camera?
- i can be a sad clown at your party
- i can give you advice but i already do that for free so you’d be ripping yourself off if you chose this one !

anyway, i do need help and it sucks to be vulnerable, but there are lots of other people who need help more than me so please don’t feel obligated ! also i understand if you now think i’m an annoying butt.

wahhh you guys have given me half of what i need already and it’s making me cry like a butt at work. asking for help is hard and embarrassing, and i have a lot of poor kid ‘I DON’T NEED ANY HELP’ pride that has made it hard for me to reach out and wahhh. thank you. i’ll write back to you each individually soon. i am so overwhelmed with gratitude.

also, if you have criticisms about me asking and want to talk about it you can totally send me an ask and we can talk, or you can reblog or whatever. i am not above criticism.

i hate myself !

wtfplus:

hey guys. i am appropriately embarrassed and please unfollow me if you hate this stuff, but i found myself in a situation where i have to move pretty suddenly (long story short: partner got a job in another state, i have to stay here for now, can’t stay in current place because the full rent is 71% of my income, have to pay first/last/security at another place) and am still short money (other long story short: i was on unpaid medical leave from work for 3 months earlier this year for a chronic illness, which kind of wrecked my credit/i’m still recovering from it). i have most of the deposit, but i need $800ish by 7/25. if you have anything to spare and want to paypal it to coolthoughts@nervous.org that would be cool.

i don’t have anything to sell, my family is pretty poor, and my partner (who normally would do anything to help me) has to pay the costs up front to move across the country, so i don’t really have a lifeline here.

services i can offer in return:
- i can mail you an envelope of cat hair (currently in stock: gray, white, black)
- i will rewrite your okcupid profile so you get hella laid
- i have some crappy plus size old navy clothes?
- you can look at me on a web camera?
- i can be a sad clown at your party
- i can give you advice but i already do that for free so you’d be ripping yourself off if you chose this one !

anyway, i do need help and it sucks to be vulnerable, but there are lots of other people who need help more than me so please don’t feel obligated ! also i understand if you now think i’m an annoying butt.

you guys have already been incredibly sweet and i appreciate it and want to cry. a few people have said the link i sent defaults to canadian dollars, but when i try it, it’s USD. i’m not sure what’s up. xoxo.

i hate myself !

hey guys. i am appropriately embarrassed and please unfollow me if you hate this stuff, but i found myself in a situation where i have to move pretty suddenly (long story short: partner got a job in another state, i have to stay here for now, can’t stay in current place because the full rent is 71% of my income, have to pay first/last/security at another place) and am still short money (other long story short: i was on unpaid medical leave from work for 3 months earlier this year for a chronic illness, which kind of wrecked my credit/i’m still recovering from it). i have most of the deposit, but i need $800ish by 7/25. if you have anything to spare and want to paypal it to coolthoughts@nervous.org that would be cool.

i don’t have anything to sell, my family is pretty poor, and my partner (who normally would do anything to help me) has to pay the costs up front to move across the country, so i don’t really have a lifeline here.

services i can offer in return:
- i can mail you an envelope of cat hair (currently in stock: gray, white, black)
- i will rewrite your okcupid profile so you get hella laid
- i have some crappy plus size old navy clothes?
- you can look at me on a web camera?
- i can be a sad clown at your party
- i can give you advice but i already do that for free so you’d be ripping yourself off if you chose this one !

anyway, i do need help and it sucks to be vulnerable, but there are lots of other people who need help more than me so please don’t feel obligated ! also i understand if you now think i’m an annoying butt.