more neurotic posting about hair color

cherryseltzer:

share with me your heartwarming stories about going from dyed dark hair to bleached blonde/light hair !

i dyed my hair BLACK with box dye in january. that isn’t as high-stakes for me as it is for most people because my hair just doesn’t hold black dye (in high school i used to dye it over and over with clairol loving care blue black and it faded within weeks even though i was dyeing black over black), partially because.. it just doesn’t, and partially because i wash my hair every day with head and shoulders, which fades dye.  my roots are about temple-length, and my hair is all one color now, so the black has faded enough that it’s just plain brown.

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i have an appointment at a salon on thursday for a consultation about taking it from this color to dark gray, which requires bleaching.  i know that this is usually done in phases, but i’m really afraid they’re going to be like NOPE CAN’T DO IT, SHOULDN’T HAVE DYED YOUR HAIR BLACK @()$()($.

for reference, the entirety of my bangs are undyed. this is the color i’m trying to get:

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soothe me with tales of taking your hair from dark dye to light.

p.s. i looked a little peaky in that picture so i gave myself a tumblr makeover

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sorry for reblogging personal stuff, i just wanted to reach a wider audience.  i’m going to get my hair dyed (at a salon) gray, which will involve bleaching and junk, but i’ve previously dyed my hair darker. tell me uplifting (lolol) stories about going from dyed dark -> bleached hair !

nanette lepore l’amour giveaway winner !

now that the winner has accepted, i can announce it ! the winner of the dress is colorsoftheimpala ! her entries are below (if you’ll recall, the contest was ‘pick an outfit in size 28 that costs $150 or less for me to buy’):

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the polyvore links with product details are here and here.

there were so, so many awesome entries
and it was really hard to pick a winner ! i’m still going to catalog all the entries in my personal blog, i just couldn’t find a mouse at home this weekend and i am like, terrible with a touchpad because of my lennie-from-of-mice-and-men touch. i also want to give a shoutout to amanda h. who entered over e-mail- she put together like 10 awesome outfits but declined the prize because she thought someone else could use it more. i’m gonna post those on my other blog too. in fact, she had so much fun doing it that she made a blog where she put together some other style ideas.

so, while this contest may have seemed like kind of a narcissistic exercise, i just thought it would be fun to have a diverse group of people put some work into finding size 28 outfits that are super cute and currently available (and not astronomically expensive) because it’s really hard for people my size to find stuff to wear that fits, makes them feel good, and actually looks cool. it’s even harder for people who are size 30+ so my next contest might be finding outfits for those sizes.

wtfplus’ bra fitting guide for fat bodies

three easy steps ! 

step one: watch endless bra fitting guides made for non-fat bodies
step two: look online for the size it says you are, see that it doesn’t exist or is a size you tried that doesn’t fit you or is $86455049 that you don’t have and you can only find it online or it only comes in beige back brace models
step three: go to like, lane bryant or something, and find the bra that fits physically on you without falling off or hurting too bad that your boobs fit into, use any extra cup space for your cellphone, get some band extenders (who doesn’t like a parade of beige, white, and black across their back?), enjoy the uniboob you get if the largest cup size is too small, etc.

i watched a bra fitting post going around the other day and laughed hysterically when i followed the instructions; i’m currently wearing a 48B and it fits me like a ‘bra that fits’ should fit- i recently wore a 46C and the band was too small and the cups were cavernous, and the 52B i tried was way too big all over. if i went by measurements, i’d be a 58DD. 

p.s. more power to you if these guides work for you !

forkliftfoot:

Lingerie Designers: “We really try to design for a wide range of women.”
Size Range: 32A-36D

ahhh, this reminds me of like, every plus size line.  ’fashionable affordable clothes for ALL bodies ! sizes 14-22’

(Source: ithotyouknew)

hey, i said i would announce the giveaway winner today but i forgot it was memorial day and all my supplies are at work ! i will announce it tomorrow. sorry guys, i’m not usually a blogging flake. <3

oops, to clarify further, i heard back from the winner i picked friday and she said she didn’t intend to enter the contest, she just thought it was a fun challenge, so i have to pick a new winner !

lordy-lou said: hey, i've got a question for you relating to fatness and hellish weather: i'll be moving to new orleans this summer, and i'm wondering how you do the whole "deal-with-hot-shitty-humid-weather" routine when you're fat? i'm from the midwest, so while it gets up to 114° it's always bone-dry. are dresses and skirts going to be my best friend? (sorry if this is a dumb question)

dresses and skirts will be your best friend, and shorts, and tank tops, and a bathing suit, and if you have any qualms about any part of your body, you may get over them very, very fast. i grew up in central florida and spent all of my teen years in pants and cardigans because i was embarrassed about my arms and legs, and i was fucking miserable, so i don’t recommend that life.

philadelphia is surprisingly humid and hot- basically just as bad as florida, but we also have other seasons so there’s some relief (BUT in florida everything is air conditioned- in philly, not so much). new orleans is like, a special kind of swampy, humid hot that i personally love but that will take some getting used to if you’re used to dry heat. 

some tips:
- learn to love your bangs pinned up, or a short hairstyle if you are so inclined, or master stuff like braiding. i had a shaved head several times as a teenager because it was so, so fucking hot.
- body glide and/or stick deodorant for your inner thighs or where ever else you have sweat or chafing (underboob, rolls, etc). 
- cold showers are your friend.
- don’t forget sunblock even when it’s cloudy !
- think long and hard about the colors and fabrics you’re wearing. it can be hard to find natural fibers in larger sizes, but you’ll be much more comfortable. likewise, consider pitstain and backsweat potential when picking out colors or wearing colors.
- keep little ice packs or bags of frozen vegetable in your fridge and put them on your neck near that one big artery, it’ll help you cool down faster and not sweat through your clothes or feel like you’re going to die when you come in from outside.
- drink lots of water and eat lots of fruit and stuff to stay hydrated. you may develop a new funk from all the sweat and staying hydrated helps !
- adopt a nudist lifestyle at home if possible. you’ll sound sexy on tumblr AND won’t get night sweats every night !

cherryseltzer:

i saw this outfit on tumblr the other day and became sort of obsessed with recreating it for myself (with different shoes) in my (much larger) size:

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for the shirt, i just got something from old navy regular sizes- an XXL tall should fit me fine. my problem with those is that they’re too short (because i’m too fat !) but i’d be tucking it into a skirt anyway:

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the skirt is regular asos, and asos curve has a similar one in mint in plus sizes, and if the 24 runs as big as the 24 in their dresses, it might fit me- but it’s sold out in size 24. i had to opt for this skirt from swak:

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for shoes i just went with chinese mary janes, which will kill my plantar fasciitis, but these have been my #1 since i was a toddler and lived over a laundromat that sold them:

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it isn’t perfect, but it’s probably the best i can do in a size 28 (and i got to use some coupons/store return credits, so it was like.. $35 total). overall it probably won’t be as like, sleek and simple as the original, but i’ll try to post pictures when i get everything.

p.s. it will also look different on me because i’m kind of a tube? no waist !

rebloggin’ this from my personal blog because this blog is also a fatshion blog. if you guys can help me find a closer match on this skirt i would be pumped ! absolutely PUMPED.

Audrey Hepburn + &#8220;the trendiness of Americana&#8221;An Englishwoman, born in Brussels, died in Switzerland, and known for her boss American-flag sunglasses. submitted by cavilingeditor&#8217;s note: well, i can understand the association since she&#8217;s an icon of american film (though i actually don&#8217;t think i&#8217;ve ever seen a single movie she&#8217;s in? even though i&#8217;m old, i never really had an interest in &#8216;old movies&#8217; as a kid, and the only &#8216;old movies&#8217; my mom made me watch were &#8216;mildred pierce&#8217; and &#8216;sunset boulevard&#8217; and &#8216;the women&#8217; and weirdly &#8216;thomasina&#8217;), though when i think &#8216;americana&#8217; i generally think of like, a corny version of &#8216;nighthawks&#8217; by edward hopper repainted with marilyn monroe and james dean and mickey mouse, smeared with apple pie. audrey hepburn is too sophisticated. she has one of those cigarette holder things like cruella deville. i think.
however, she is one of THE most popular thin women to put on plus size clothing, right after twiggy, and that IS an american tradition.

Audrey Hepburn + “the trendiness of Americana”

An Englishwoman, born in Brussels, died in Switzerland, and known for her boss American-flag sunglasses. 

submitted by caviling

editor’s note: well, i can understand the association since she’s an icon of american film (though i actually don’t think i’ve ever seen a single movie she’s in? even though i’m old, i never really had an interest in ‘old movies’ as a kid, and the only ‘old movies’ my mom made me watch were ‘mildred pierce’ and ‘sunset boulevard’ and ‘the women’ and weirdly ‘thomasina’), though when i think ‘americana’ i generally think of like, a corny version of ‘nighthawks’ by edward hopper repainted with marilyn monroe and james dean and mickey mouse, smeared with apple pie. audrey hepburn is too sophisticated. she has one of those cigarette holder things like cruella deville. i think.

however, she is one of THE most popular thin women to put on plus size clothing, right after twiggy, and that IS an american tradition.

my legs !

dudes. so in the past, i’ve bought teggings and they completely didn’t fit and were a huge disappointment, but i decided to take a gamble recently after a similarly sized friend told me they fit her, and i got a pair of the black regular length teggings and they fit like a fucking dream. stretchy, super soft, durable, and comfortable. i highly recommend them again. for reference, my waist is 61” and my hips are 66” and my thighs are about 37” each and they fit me comfortably without becoming see-through in the thigh. i have kinda small ankles (for my size) but the ankle cuffs are really roomy and i think would fit well on someone who has large ankles. they look more like tights than leggings so i can wear them to work and circumvent our ‘no leggings’ policy also !

they’re sold out of a few colors right now but the gray and black both fit similarly and were lovely.

giveaway ! juniors 2X/22/24/26ish psychedelic nightmare dress !

wtfplus:

wtfplus:

the time has come- a sad day for me, and a potentially happy one for you. i’m doing a giveaway of one of the dresses from my holy grail list, which i (happily) found by talking to someone on instagram, but it just didn’t work out for me. it fits me (kind of), but it’s basically a sleeveless tunic on me because i’m so tall (and it’s like, a juniors 2X and i’m an adult size 28), and i’m not really a sleeveless tunic kind of broad.

the dress in question is the nanette lepore l’amour baby doll dress in ‘multi cloud’ in a size 2x (from jc penney in 2013)

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the dress was new with tags when it came to me, and i wore it one time (over a black t-shirt) to pick up takeout, and never again, so it’s basically new but with the bonus of maybe having some of my essence on it. my bust/waist/hip measurements are like 59-61-66 and it was a littttttle tight in the bust and gave me a uniboob, but it still fit and didn’t look weird.  it also just barely covered my hips, from a combination of it being short/me being tall/me being way bigger than old nanette intended.

the dress’ measurements are as follows (flat, so double them):
bust: 21.5” unstretched
waist: 18” unstretched (24ish inches stretched, i didn’t have anyone to help me so there’s probably more. it fit me under my bust which is like 58 inches)
hip: basically free, but 28” unstretched
length: 33” from the back of the neck to the bottom of the skirt

i would say this would fit a size 20/22 most comfortably, and probably still look like a dress on a size 24/26 who is short and has medium hoots, and it could fit someone my size like a tunic. also if you are a size 30+ and want to enter to keep other people from having it because you’re mad it didn’t come in your size, please do, cause that shit sucks and spite is cool ! but i probably won’t pick you. i didn’t take any pictures of me wearing it, but a few of my favorite people have worn it and looked cool- ohkellybelly and erin from zero style.

giveaway terms and conditions:
reblog this post with an outfit you picked out for me. hahaha i’m an egomaniac ! the items in the outfit have to actually come in a US size 28 (UK 30/32. asos curve is okay because their US 22/24 fit me), be available at the time you post them, and cost me under $150 if i bought it- this doesn’t have to include shoes or accessories, but you can add those if you still have ‘money’ leftover. please note this doesn’t mean you have to buy me a real outfit unless you’re a billionaire philanthropist.
winner will be chosen based on my favorite outfit. the outfit can be appropriate for any occasion (like, anywhere between having beach sex with the creature from the black lagoon to the creature from the black lagoon’s funeral or some scenario creech isn’t even in, if you can think of one, which i personally can’t). you don’t have to adhere EXACTLY to this, but as a guideline, my likes include a-line dresses and skirts, horizontal stripes, floral prints, boat necks/wide scoops, poofy sleeves, stuff with actual animals printed on it (not animal print). think sloppy audrey horne or fat audrey hepburn or this picture of audrey meadows. dislikes include rockabilly/pin-up anything (no skulls, cherries, halter tops), words on anything, shoes with heels, tomato red, rhinestones/embroidery, maxi dresses, sleeveless/tube tops, light denim, makeup/anything that has like, lipstick tubes printed on it. think of me as ‘someone who has never slammed in the back of a dragula’.
alternately, if you don’t have a tumblr, send me an e-mail (found on the contact page). please don’t send me an ask or fanmail with your answer because the ask feature sux and is confusing to my peanut brain
- you do NOT have to follow my blog to win, i think it is weird to blackmail people with goods. you do NOT have to ‘like’ this post to win, unless you actually like it. even then you don’t HAVE to but that would be nice. it’s nice to be nice.
- you PROBABLY should wear a size close to the size of this dress, otherwise you are being a butt to people who fit in this dress.
- if you win and the dress doesn’t fit you, consider paying it forward. you COULD sell it on ebay or something but would the $60 you got for it be as sweet as making another fat person’s day?! maybe, if you buy donuts with that $60, which is what i would do. 
- you can enter if you live anywhere in the world but if you live in like, francylvania or something you will have to wait until june for me to ship it cause i’m kind of broke.
deadline is friday, may 23, 2014, and i will announce the winner on monday, may 26, 2014

this giveaway is not sponsored or anything, and this is a dress i bought with my own money and am passin’ on.

the deadline is 5pm EST this friday, may 23 ! i just want to note that you can enter multiple times/reblog this/email me with other outfits to increase your chances if you feel like it, because someone else did that and it was cool. haha.

5pm EST today ! i’ve been posting all the entries on my personal blog and will post the rest over the weekend (so as not to clog this one up) if any other size 28s want some outfit ideas. winner will be announced monday ! i also decided there’s going to be a second place prize because so many people tried so hard, and also i got a check with overtime pay from working all last weekend so i’m feeling generous.

Leopard is my favorite color…insomuch that I wear a black bag shirt with only weird, hard-to-read letters that are leopard print submitted by (yes, really) unclebronyeditor&#8217;s note: it took me forever to read this. i thought it was in latin or ancient greek something, like a sassy diva version of the da vinci code. shit, i just realized that you can&#8217;t spell &#8216;da vinci&#8217; without &#8216;diva&#8217;. coincidence?ωOPλRDS MΨλVOκπECOLOβ

Leopard is my favorite color…insomuch that I wear a black bag shirt with only weird, hard-to-read letters that are leopard print 

submitted by (yes, really) unclebrony

editor’s note: it took me forever to read this. i thought it was in latin or ancient greek something, like a sassy diva version of the da vinci code. shit, i just realized that you can’t spell ‘da vinci’ without ‘diva’. coincidence?

ωOPλRD
S MΨ
λVOκπE
COLO
β

woman within, memorial day preview e-mail, spring 2014spoiler: on memorial day, you will bust apart into the three women who are within you (l-r: brown haired you, you, another you), slip into tunics and ankle skimming jeans and bobos, and stand around cackling in memory of our fallen soldiers.
super spoiler: none of you will be fat even though you&#8217;re appearing in an advertisement for one of the few plus size stores that carries up to size 44.

woman within, memorial day preview e-mail, spring 2014

spoiler: on memorial day, you will bust apart into the three women who are within you (l-r: brown haired you, you, another you), slip into tunics and ankle skimming jeans and bobos, and stand around cackling in memory of our fallen soldiers.

super spoiler: none of you will be fat even though you’re appearing in an advertisement for one of the few plus size stores that carries up to size 44.

cherryseltzer:

hey guys. i’m having one of those days where i really miss having a personal blog (i have a personal tumblr but it’s just me reblogging animals and being super cranky at like, sherlock fans and old white men), so i decided to make one.  i have the world’s worst period crankiness today and while i was driving to work i decided that everyone who has ever changed lanes or turned without signaling should be banished from earth after one offense, and then calmed down and decided they should instead have their cars impounded, licenses revoked and have to ride to work in a PT cruiser clown car of their no-signaling peers. i also almost started crying because i’m out of seltzer?

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polar granny smith, polar ruby red grapefruit, and vintage wild cherry seltzer are like, the best things to ever happen to me. if you live in philly, the south square market at 23rd and south has like.. every flavor of polar (though blueberry kinda smelled like feet and peach tasted like fake bananas and strawberry tastes like a 1990s middle school girls locker room bath & body works fog). i’ve gone the last three sundays and stocked up, but i chose to skip it this past sunday and now i’m feeling as low as a snake’s belly, drinking still water like a common human.

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oh. look at this. i have grayed really, really rapidly the last few years from stress/illness, and i’ve been considering going all gray for a few years. luckily it’s ‘in’ now so i won’t look like a west philly anthro professor spinster cat hoarder (which would be very offensive to me because i’m a historian, not an anthropologist), and i bossed someone into photoshopping my hair gray and LOOK HOW COOL IT IS. i’m going to run it by my hair person (angel at talking headz in west philly- go to her, she’s a genius, though this pic is from before she ever cut my hair. this hair was by diana at lux, an eco-friendly salon in bethlehem, who is also super highly recommended and one of my bff).  i have black dye in the ends of my hair so it might be impossible, but we’ll see.

on the docket for the next few months:
- moving in august (nyc? philly? san francisco?)
- gray hair?!?!
- summer semester?!?!?
- rebuilding my finances after 3ish months of unpaid medical leave!??!
- pointing a hair dryer at the dent on my car and trying to undent it??!

stay tuned for more boring personal stuff.

p.s. i have no idea what i’m wearing in that picture, so the person who photoshopped the hair might have changed my clothes. i don’t think i have a shirt or dress like that? 

since i’ve had the urge to post so many non-blog-related things here, i decided to make a better personal blog to keep my pleasure and… pleasure separate. i’ve had a bunch of people ask me if i have a personal blog, so.. here it is.

lilyannifer said: I spent a long time imaginary shopping for size 28 clothes, inspired by your contest. And what a soul suckingly, bone shatteringly awful experience that was. I knew sort of that above size 24 clothes got a WHOLE lot harder to find (and that at 30 you're dumped into the wasteland of matching tunics and leggings) but trying to put together a cute outfit in size 28... Oy. If I could find that crazy cloud print in a fabric store I would make you that stupid dress. So vicariously angry at the world.

dude. thank you for feeling my pain. if you really want to experience empathetic misery, try to find stuff in 30+. even though the availability at size 28 is really slim (lololol), i’m comparatively really lucky- IF sizes go above a 24, they USUALLY stop at 28. i once tried to find a pair of jeans for my friend who wears a US 32 and found… literally one pair of jeans and she was like, ‘thanks, i have those, they run really small’. it’s really, really brutal.

giveaway ! juniors 2X/22/24/26ish psychedelic nightmare dress !

wtfplus:

the time has come- a sad day for me, and a potentially happy one for you. i’m doing a giveaway of one of the dresses from my holy grail list, which i (happily) found by talking to someone on instagram, but it just didn’t work out for me. it fits me (kind of), but it’s basically a sleeveless tunic on me because i’m so tall (and it’s like, a juniors 2X and i’m an adult size 28), and i’m not really a sleeveless tunic kind of broad.

the dress in question is the nanette lepore l’amour baby doll dress in ‘multi cloud’ in a size 2x (from jc penney in 2013)

image

the dress was new with tags when it came to me, and i wore it one time (over a black t-shirt) to pick up takeout, and never again, so it’s basically new but with the bonus of maybe having some of my essence on it. my bust/waist/hip measurements are like 59-61-66 and it was a littttttle tight in the bust and gave me a uniboob, but it still fit and didn’t look weird.  it also just barely covered my hips, from a combination of it being short/me being tall/me being way bigger than old nanette intended.

the dress’ measurements are as follows (flat, so double them):
bust: 21.5” unstretched
waist: 18” unstretched (24ish inches stretched, i didn’t have anyone to help me so there’s probably more. it fit me under my bust which is like 58 inches)
hip: basically free, but 28” unstretched
length: 33” from the back of the neck to the bottom of the skirt

i would say this would fit a size 20/22 most comfortably, and probably still look like a dress on a size 24/26 who is short and has medium hoots, and it could fit someone my size like a tunic. also if you are a size 30+ and want to enter to keep other people from having it because you’re mad it didn’t come in your size, please do, cause that shit sucks and spite is cool ! but i probably won’t pick you. i didn’t take any pictures of me wearing it, but a few of my favorite people have worn it and looked cool- ohkellybelly and erin from zero style.

giveaway terms and conditions:
reblog this post with an outfit you picked out for me. hahaha i’m an egomaniac ! the items in the outfit have to actually come in a US size 28 (UK 30/32. asos curve is okay because their US 22/24 fit me), be available at the time you post them, and cost me under $150 if i bought it- this doesn’t have to include shoes or accessories, but you can add those if you still have ‘money’ leftover. please note this doesn’t mean you have to buy me a real outfit unless you’re a billionaire philanthropist.
winner will be chosen based on my favorite outfit. the outfit can be appropriate for any occasion (like, anywhere between having beach sex with the creature from the black lagoon to the creature from the black lagoon’s funeral or some scenario creech isn’t even in, if you can think of one, which i personally can’t). you don’t have to adhere EXACTLY to this, but as a guideline, my likes include a-line dresses and skirts, horizontal stripes, floral prints, boat necks/wide scoops, poofy sleeves, stuff with actual animals printed on it (not animal print). think sloppy audrey horne or fat audrey hepburn or this picture of audrey meadows. dislikes include rockabilly/pin-up anything (no skulls, cherries, halter tops), words on anything, shoes with heels, tomato red, rhinestones/embroidery, maxi dresses, sleeveless/tube tops, light denim, makeup/anything that has like, lipstick tubes printed on it. think of me as ‘someone who has never slammed in the back of a dragula’.
alternately, if you don’t have a tumblr, send me an e-mail (found on the contact page). please don’t send me an ask or fanmail with your answer because the ask feature sux and is confusing to my peanut brain
- you do NOT have to follow my blog to win, i think it is weird to blackmail people with goods. you do NOT have to ‘like’ this post to win, unless you actually like it. even then you don’t HAVE to but that would be nice. it’s nice to be nice.
- you PROBABLY should wear a size close to the size of this dress, otherwise you are being a butt to people who fit in this dress.
- if you win and the dress doesn’t fit you, consider paying it forward. you COULD sell it on ebay or something but would the $60 you got for it be as sweet as making another fat person’s day?! maybe, if you buy donuts with that $60, which is what i would do. 
- you can enter if you live anywhere in the world but if you live in like, francylvania or something you will have to wait until june for me to ship it cause i’m kind of broke.
deadline is friday, may 23, 2014, and i will announce the winner on monday, may 26, 2014

this giveaway is not sponsored or anything, and this is a dress i bought with my own money and am passin’ on.

the deadline is 5pm EST this friday, may 23 ! i just want to note that you can enter multiple times/reblog this/email me with other outfits to increase your chances if you feel like it, because someone else did that and it was cool. haha.